Vincent Xian Roberto

It's a Wonderful Life

    One of our favorite movies is "It's a Wonderful Life", a classic, iconic Christmas movie that is enjoyed by many year after year. The 1946 Frank Capra classic starring Jimmy Stewart has a timeless message of the importance and worth of every life, and the connections that we have to the people we touch in our lives. In 66 years, that message is not old or worn-out, it is not outdated or irrelevant. It is a message that we 'get' year after year when we watch the Christmas favorite.

    In the past few weeks, the message of "It's a Wonderful Life" has come home to me again and again. As we prepare for the fourth international adoption in less than five years, we have often felt as though we were walking uphill on rough terrain. Like George Bailey, just as we would 'get ahead' and be ready to move on, something would happen, and God would point us toward another child, our child, who was waiting for us. After adopting Shane in October 2009, Matt and I were sure we would never adopt again. We were weary, we were sad. Shane had needs that we had not anticipated, and we were coming to grips with his significant delays. We 'mourned' the child we thought we were adopting, as many families mourn the loss of a child. We grieved that he had been so neglected in China, that he had been abandoned, that we had not gotten him sooner to help to prevent some of the loss he suffered. We were sad and heart-broken, and sure God had asked enough of us. We had our work cut out for us. We were finished adopting. Our family was complete.

   In October of 2010, I called Diana at Madison as I had a question for her about Shane's upcoming 12 month post-placement. Before we hung up the phone, I asked about a little girl who had been on Madison's list, and had been one of the children in Madison's fist camp. While we were adjusting to life with Shane, I had been keeping up with all the families who were bringing their children home, and I rejoiced with each child who came home to his or her family. And so I was surprised when I saw the picture of 'Carrie' reappear on the list. When I asked Diana about her, she explained that she was unexpectedly available again, and that time was running out for her to be adopted. I was so sorry to hear that as it always made my heart heavy at the thought of the children who would live out their lives in institutional type places, especially when she came so close to being adopted. I remember Diana saying "MaryAnne, do you think you might want to adopt her?" I laughed out loud and assured her that that was completely impossible. There was no way, no way, absolutely no way. She told me we might be able to re-use Shane's dossier...I told her no way.

  For the next few weeks I would wake up with 'Carrie's' face on my mind. Throughout the day I would argue with myself, and with God, about how ridiculous, insane, and certainly financially impossible it would be to adopt again. Every night I was sure we could not do it, every morning, her face would be on my mind. If we were her last hope for a family and we said no, how could I live with myself?

    It is now December of 2012, and 'Carrie' just celebrated her first Christmas in her own home. Maeleigh WuShuang, formerly 'Carrie' is walking with crutches, is a star at her school, and is learning English faster than you can imagine.She rolls her eyes, breaks the rules, and is learning to find her way in a busy, hectic home. She loves nail polish and new clothes, and is becoming independent in everything she does. Her future  life in a nursing home is a distant memory: instead she asks where she can go to college. So for all my doubts, for all my plans to the contrary, we were meant to bring 'Carrie' into our hearts and into our home. God made it possible, by opening the hearts of so many friends and strangers who saw the need, and gave of themselves and blessed us to be able to afford the expenses of an adoption.

Christmas 2012 

   As we began the process for Maeleigh, we saw a video of our Vincent. My heart broke, and I knew, without even a doubt, that we would be his parents, but we had absolutely no way to do two adoptions. So, with the encouragement of everyone at Madison, we proceeded with two adoptions, knowing we would have to wait to get Vincent. Born with vision, Vincent was abandoned when he was diagnosed with Retinoblastoma, a cancer of the eyes which almost always causes the loss of the eyes. Within a year or two of arriving at the orphanage Vincent  was totally blind. Smart and feisty, Vincent has not missed a beat, and talked non-stop when I met him in February when I went to get Maeleigh. Had I not been so worried about Maeleigh and her adjustment to us, my heart would have broken when Vincent hugged me and said good-bye. "Hurry back to get me Mama," he urged. When we flew home from China, a piece of my heart was left there with Vincent Xian.

Vincent Xian as he said good-bye to me.

   For those of us in the adoption world, there is no such thing as 'hurrying'. Paperwork, homestudy updates, fingerprints, travel fees, all make it very hard to hurry. We are more than financially challenged these days with 7 children, 2 in college, one in high school and 3 with special needs. Life is busy and full. But while we are challenged, we are also so greatly blessed.

   When we said yes to adopting, God pointed the way for us, time and again. It is a leap of faith to add a child to your family, and it is a bigger leap to take that step with fees attached! (literally!). We could never have brought 3, and soon to be 4 children home in less that 5 years if not for the help and generosity of so many people. It still amazes me at the outpouring of money that we have received. Some people we have never seen, and most likely will never meet in this life. Other people have been touched by our story, still others know us well. In each of our adoptions, we received money that should not have been ours: tuition grants were awarded, airplane costs were mysteriously lowered, fees were waived when they are never waived.

  And so, as we are less than two weeks from traveling to get Vincent, we are in awe, as George Bailey was, standing is his living room, watching the people whose lives he had touched, pour out their own 'gifts' to him. As each life touches the other, we are humbled at the outpouring of generosity from so many people. We are struck by the true meaning of Christmas: that 'unto us this day...a child is born." Unto our family, four children are ours to love, to raise, to bring home.

  Thank you to everyone who has been there for us. We ask your continued prayers and support as we take the last steps to pull together the travel fees. We ask your prayers for Matt and Meghan as they travel to get Vincent, and for Vincent as he makes the transition home. And I ask especially for the children who wait in countries all over the world, including here in our own country, for a family of their own.

 As we look forward to a New Year with a new son, we know that with all of it's challenges and craziness, it's a wonderful life.

 

Kindle Fire Give-Away

We are excited to announce another fundraiser to help with the travel expenses for Vincent. We are going to raffle off a Kindle Fire 7 with LCD display. To enter the drawing, click on the donate button, enter the amount: $10.00 for one chance, and $25.00 for three chances. We will begin the entries today and will close them on December 19th. If you are not local, we will send the Kindle next-day so that you will have it for Christmas.

In addition, we will have two $25.00 Gift Cards for 2nd and 3rd place winners.

Please share this with your friends and family as a fun way to help us to raise money for Vincent's adoption, and take a chance to win!

Giving Thanks

I  started writing  this the day before Thanksgiving, pretending for a moment that I have nothing to do but sit here and write my blog. It reminds me of when I was in college, and would grab a fabulous novel to read during mid-terms and finals, and would justify reading when I had to study.I had no business writing when I had so much to do, and I never did finish the post. So here we go for a second try.

I have been cooking for my family since I was in 5th grade. Seriously. My mother got a full-time job that year, and while she was home a few house after my brothers and I returned home from school, she would run in, cook dinner, and get things together for all of us. I had watched her make dinner forever, and started asking if I could cook. Before long, I was changing recipes, experimenting with food, and more than capable of cooking for 8 people every day. I made cakes, desserts, and some pretty good dinners, if I do say so myself. I remember the first time I made pasta after Matt and I got married: I put the whole box of pasta in the boiling water, and Matt said "Who else is eating with us?" I had never cooked less than a pound of pasta! (Luckily we both like left-overs)

I always say I love cooking, but I hate making dinner. Cooking is fun and creative, making dinner is expediency and thinking of a balanced diet. Thanksgiving dinner brings both of these things together. There is expediency, what do we need to have, what traditions do we keep, what traditions can we put aside, and what is fun to eat? When my niece and nephew were little toddlers, I decided that I would teach them to make bread. (did I mention I am the only one who likes to cook of my sisters?) So I would go over to my sister Sally's house and Jeff and Steff and I would make bread. I can remember the fascination on their little faces when the bread dough rose and then cooked into shapes of their initials. Last night on Thanksgiving night we Skyped with Stephanie who is in Australia for work. I showed her on the camera our traditional homemade rolls I make now, some 24 years later, and promised her I would make her a whole batch when she gets home.

With another Thanksgiving behind us, I am thankful for so many things. Thankful for Matt and the kids, thankful to have my parents with us, so healthy and vibrant. Thankful for health and a wonderful career that helps me to provide for the needs of my family and to help towards the adoptions. Thankful for the wonderful friends we have. Last week our Shannon went with friends from school to help some of the victims of Hurricane Sandy, and we are all so thankful for the blessings of our home, electricity and heat. We keep all of those affected by the storm in our thoughts and prayers as they live with so much less than we have and yet are grateful to be alive.

Next year at Thanksgiving, I will be adding stories of our 'little guy.' At that time I will be thankful for completing another, and our last, adoption. Each day I am grateful and thankful to God, 'from whom all blessing flow'. Through his Providence, we receive 'every spiritual blessing in the heavens', and He has chosen to give us so many.

One of the many Thanksgivings at our house on Chesworth Road

One full table!

Cousins!

Celebrating 4 birthdays

Sarah with my Mom

A glimpse of the past...my whole family in Williamsburg.

With the Christmas season officially upon us, I am looking forward to another holiday. We are almost finished our room additions downstairs, which will be awesome when they are done. All three of the older girls are moving downstairs and they are loving it. We have one room completed, and they are sleeping in there at the moment. Before Christmas break when Sarah and Meghan will be home for an extended period, the second room will be done. There is nothing like spreading out, cleaning out old things, and finding new places for important things. The older I get, the less I keep, and the less interest I have in spending time organizing and cleaning!

Just a reminder about Goat Milk Soaps! They are selling well and all the profits go towards helping us to pay for our travel fees.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Goat Milk Soap Fundraiser

This is the first of our fundraisers for Vincent. We were so blessed to have so many people help us with Maeleigh's adoption, and to be honest it is difficult to begin the fundraising process again. People do not always understand that you need to fund raise to afford an adoption. Many people think that you should have the money before you begin the process.It's just not that way. What I know is that we have been asked to do these adoptions, and with them come the fees that are needed to pay for the services.

We are still selling bracelets, and I will post a new link to the bracelets.We are also doing a goat milk soap fundraiser. I bought some of these soaps to help another family bring their daughter home, and I loved the soap so much that I decided to do a fundraiser for Vincent. These are awesome stocking stuffers and they make great teacher gifts as well.

Thank you in advance for helping us to bring Vincent home!

Click on the Soap button to order your Goat Milk Soap.If you are local, we can save shipping and I can arrange to bring you your order.

Thanks!

Preparing

The last few weeks have been full of preparing for us. We have been preparing for Hurricane Sandy, and were out of power for about 4 days. We were fortunate that while we had a very large branch fall on our house from a tree in the back, everyone is safe an unharmed. The storm hit many people in neighboring New Jersey, so our hearts and prayers go out to all the people who lost so much in the storm.

This is a picture of all the kids (plus Meg's college roommate who rode out the storm with us)eating a pizza dinner after our neighbors loaned us a generator for a few hours. Don't be fooled by the brightness of the picture...it was pitch-dark in the room except for a few candles on the table. The only one who didn't mind the power outage was Shane!

The tree limb shook the whole house and made us very grateful that more of the tree did not fall!

We muddled through until Thursday of that week with no power. When the power finally came on, Maeleigh yelled "Thank God!" not bad for being here 7 months!


                                            




We are also getting closer to preparing for Vincent. we have our NVC cable and we are moving along to getting ready to travel. The next post will be for a fundraiser for goat milk Soap. Stay tuned!

This was hanging off the roof....we were so lucky it was not larger, and did not cause damage!

Eight is Great

Here we go, yet again! Home now 4 months and for the most part, settled in, we are ready to share our news with everyone. About a year ago, when I was looking at the website of the organization that helped Maeleigh with surgery, braces and crutches, I saw a little boy who was featured on their site. My heart stopped when I saw his face and watched the video of an adorable little boy, laughing and giggling, splashing water on his nannies as he played outside.He walked confidently down the steps, the same steps we walked down when Maeleigh left the orphanage. He played in the same courtyard we walked through when we left, the same one Maeleigh turned to look at, one more time, as she left the only home she had known for all of her life. Here was a little boy who has no future in a country that does not educate children with challenges, but who leave them to sit and wait for the off-chance someone will find their file, look at their picture, and decide to take the leap, again, to add another child to their family. When I saw the video of our 'little guy' as we have been calling him, I knew he was our child. We talked to our social worker and discussed adopting 2 at once, but we knew we could not afford the fees for two children, and we were very worried about adversely affecting Maeleigh's adoption. We spent hours thinking and praying about it, and in the end decided to wait. We did not even know if Maeleigh knew him, and what we found out is that not only did they know each other, but they have lived in the same small group of children for the past 4 and half years, since he came to the orphanage. Maeleigh has loved and nurtured our 'little guy' since he came in as an infant, and then within a year lost one eye and quickly the other to retinoblastoma, or cancerous tumors in his eyes. When we met Maeleigh in China, I had asked if we could meet our little guy. We had put in the paperwork for two children when we applied to adopt Maeleigh, so China knew we were getting him. Much to my surprise, he suddenly appeared. He came in the room and he began to talk, and talk, and talk! They translated for him and he was so awesome. He walked into the room and said "Hello, Mama, where is Baba? He told us he wanted to go 'to the States' with WuShuang. I gave him some Braille books, and manipulative toys, he was interested in everything I brought for him, and loved the Braille alphabet book. He was most impressed with the large bag of candy we brought with us for the other children. We talked with him and I was able to get a good idea of what he is doing and what his level of skills is. What a far cry from Shane and his lack of skills when we met him almost 3 years ago. So, we are going down the road yet again. It is crazy, it is exhausting, it is wonderful. Giving a child a home and a family is awesome.Welcoming that child into your heart is a blessing.We are finishing the paperwork, applying for grants, and will be doing more fundraisers as we pray for the money, yet again, to come. We were so blessed with the generosity of the people who helped us to adopt Maeleigh, and we are looking forward to someday helping others as well. Here are more pictures we have been able to get of our Vincent!